The Art of Vulnerability: A Journey through 'The Art of Asking' by Amanda Palmer

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[00:00:12] Get your free mind snack now. Today we will unlock the book The Art of Asking, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help.

[00:00:21] Have you ever had such an experience before you went out of town, you wondered whether to ask your neighbor to feed your cat.

[00:00:29] When you arrived at the bus stop, you found that you didn't have any small change.

[00:00:34] The bus was coming and you wondered whether or not to ask others to exchange money.

[00:00:39] Have you ever faced difficulties at work and needed help, but you couldn't open your mouth to ask your colleagues.

[00:00:45] For most people, it seems that asking for help is never the first option.

[00:00:50] When people encounter problems, they are accustomed to solving them themselves.

[00:00:55] If they can't solve them, they search for solutions on the internet.

[00:00:59] If they still can't solve them, they endure them, hoping that the problems can fade away by themselves.

[00:01:07] Why are we unwilling to ask others for help when we are in trouble?

[00:01:11] This unwillingness is because we are probably afraid of bothering others or feel ashamed to admit that we cannot do something.

[00:01:18] The author had a friend who was a lead singer of an indie band.

[00:01:22] He said that he would feel awkward if he stopped in the middle of a show and asked fans to text people that his show the next day because the tickets weren't yet sold out.

[00:01:31] It seems that everyone has trouble asking for help, but Amanda Palmer the author of this book dared to ask strangers for favors without hesitation even in public places.

[00:01:42] When Amanda didn't have the money to buy food for studio members, she asked people working at the bakery if they felt like bringing them left over food.

[00:01:50] When Palmer couldn't find a place to sleep, she asked them the stage if someone could provide accommodation.

[00:01:57] When she couldn't afford to hire a choir, she invited her fans to sing with her.

[00:02:02] After she left her label and started her own business, Palmer even asked her fans to finance her new album and eventually raised $1.2 million.

[00:02:13] The album became one of the 13 top-funded projects in the history of the crowdfunding website Kickstarter.

[00:02:19] The success of this crowdfunding also made Palmer famous.

[00:02:24] Even the organizers of Ted invited her to give a 12-minute talk.

[00:02:28] In our bookie of Ted talks the official Ted guide to public speaking, her speech title The Art of Asking has been used as an excellent example.

[00:02:37] With the same title as this book, her Ted talk has been viewed at least 12 million times worldwide.

[00:02:44] Palmer is not a professional writer.

[00:02:46] She's a rock singer, songwriter, activist, director, blogger, and a researcher at the Berkman Klein Center for Internet and Society at Harvard University.

[00:02:57] Amanda is famous for not being afraid of asking and has an extraordinarily successful career.

[00:03:03] However, she found that she still had difficulty asking for help when she faced tricky problems as a musician, friend or wife.

[00:03:12] Moreover, she discovered that she was not the only one who had such an issue.

[00:03:17] Many people are afraid to ask others for help which paralyzes their lives and interpersonal relationships.

[00:03:24] In this book, Palmer tells the story of her journey full of ups and downs, and the extension of asking through exploring the obstacle she and people around her encounter during their lives.

[00:03:35] This book is not one that teaches you the skill of asking.

[00:03:39] It tells us how to overcome the shame of asking and become comfortable with it.

[00:03:44] Next, we will extract the key points from this book through the following three parts.

[00:03:49] Part 1. The start of asking

[00:03:52] Part 2. The exploration of asking

[00:03:56] Part 3. The extension of asking

[00:03:59] When she was a teenager, Amanda Palmer wanted to become an artist.

[00:04:04] However, her parents urged her to get a liberal arts education at a university.

[00:04:10] After acquiring a university degree, Palmer enrolled in graduate school at Heidelberg University.

[00:04:16] Before this point, Palmer had been doing things to make her parents happy, but afterwards,

[00:04:22] she intended to live a life she wanted.

[00:04:26] At the time Palmer was 22, her academic life at university was making her anxious and miserable.

[00:04:33] She withdrew from Heidelberg University, leaving behind her studies, a full scholarship and a master's degree,

[00:04:40] and thus she began her new life.

[00:04:43] Dreams are lovely, but the reality is the opposite.

[00:04:46] When Palmer arrived in Somerville, Massachusetts from Germany, the biggest problem she faced was

[00:04:52] how to make a living. Although she didn't just want a routine job to pay for food in a place to live,

[00:04:58] she took a job as a barista and ice cream shop.

[00:05:02] Only one day later, the discontented Palmer began her second new job which was working part

[00:05:08] time on the street as a living statue. In a bridal gown with her face painted white,

[00:05:13] clutching a fistful of flowers, she perched motionless on a milk crate, waiting for passers-by

[00:05:19] to pay attention to her and give out coins. For the first few minutes, Palmer felt terrified.

[00:05:25] She felt stupid being painted white and standing on a box. Her face was red hot.

[00:05:32] Fortunately, these bad feelings soon disappeared when a few people curiously wandered up to her.

[00:05:38] A five-year-old boy placed a dollar into the empty hat at her feet.

[00:05:43] Then more and more people put money in. At the end of an hour, Palmer made $38.

[00:05:49] She only made $9.50 an hour at the ice cream shop. Palmer realized that she could perform on

[00:05:56] the street and gain more income with a flexible schedule. When she became familiar with this

[00:06:02] street job, Palmer grew confident about her performance. When a stranger dropped money into the hat,

[00:06:09] she would try to express immense gratitude to him. She would free herself from her frozen pose,

[00:06:15] smiling with her eyes and lean her body forward slightly, handing over a flower from her bouquet.

[00:06:22] Gifting them flowers was Palmer's little token which made her feel like an artist, not a poor

[00:06:27] rich waiting for handouts. At the end of a day, in addition to coins and bills, Palmer who find all

[00:06:34] sorts of weird things in the hat, thank you notes, drawings and photographs of herself,

[00:06:39] sticks of gum, broken locks, love poems, and so on. No matter what it was,

[00:06:45] it was an acknowledgement of some sort to Palmer.

[00:06:49] Of course performing on the street didn't always bring people to stop and watch.

[00:06:54] Commuters were in a hurry and most of them ignored the bride. People occasionally made fun of Palmer.

[00:07:01] They would hurl insults at her. Some people even grabbed the money in her hat. One day,

[00:07:07] someone approached Palmer and started spitting and screaming at her. He even tried to pull her off

[00:07:12] her pedestal. Fortunately when Palmer was about to fall over, a nice man from the crowd moved

[00:07:18] in and dragged the hateful guy away. On another occasion, a teenage girl through an apple at Palmer,

[00:07:26] hitting her collarbone. One of Palmer's friends happened to be watching. He chased a naughty girl

[00:07:32] for a few blocks and set her straight. Sometimes, drunk people would annoy her. However, most

[00:07:39] people were kind and friendly. On several occasions, when the money in Palmer's hat was robbed,

[00:07:45] some kind hearted strangers chased the robber and got the money back.

[00:07:50] Palmer earned a lot of money from her street performance career, but it was a hard job to move the

[00:07:55] bridal rig back and forth between her apartment and the store every day. Therefore, Palmer asked

[00:08:01] us her boss at the ice cream shop whether he would mind if she kept her bride stuff in the ice cream

[00:08:07] shop. Unexpectedly, Gus agreed without a second thought. It can be said that Gus was Palmer's first

[00:08:14] patron in her artistic career. Of course, this kind of sponsorship is different from the traditional

[00:08:20] patronage concept, but Gus helped Palmer and solved her difficulties.

[00:08:26] In those early days, Gus wasn't Palmer's only patron. For example, the owner of a sandwich shop

[00:08:32] on the other side of the square love Palmer's performance as a bride. He promised Palmer free

[00:08:38] burritos forever which saved her at least $40 a week in food costs. There was an old-fashioned tobacco

[00:08:45] shop owner next to the ice cream shop which had a small balcony. He let Palmer sit there without

[00:08:51] paying during her breaks in the shade, counting her money while drinking her free coffee.

[00:08:56] There was the florist who sold flowers to Palmer at a significantly reduced price.

[00:09:01] Palmer gave away these flowers to passers-by during her performance. Perhaps patronage is as simple

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