12 Rules for Life: Navigating Chaos with Jordan Peterson

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[00:00:12] Today, we are going to unlock the book 12 Rules for Life, an antidote to chaos.

[00:00:17] If someone says, dignified or worthless, people live like lobsters, would you agree?

[00:00:23] Don't be so quick to shoot down the idea. Imagine one of your friends serves a lobster at

[00:00:28] a dinner party and asks everyone's opinion of the impressive dish. What do you think they would say?

[00:00:35] Probably something along the lines of looks delicious or wow. Such a big lobster, right?

[00:00:42] Then, what if your friend continued by asking, who knows if this lobster is a king or a loser,

[00:00:47] most people would find this question laughable. Do lobsters even have such classifications?

[00:00:53] Yes, in reality, they actually do. Lobsters shed their shells as they grow.

[00:00:59] When they molt, their bodies become soft and the lobsters know they need to protect themselves

[00:01:03] from the outside environment, so finding a safe place to stay is vital. Unfortunately,

[00:01:09] good places are few and far between. Conflict may erupt when two lobsters have

[00:01:14] their eyes on the same territory. The lobsters fight for territory can be

[00:01:19] divided into different stages. At first, they may compare pincers sizes to judge which

[00:01:24] is the biggest. If an inevitable winner can't be decided by such a method,

[00:01:29] the lobsters will begin a desperate whipping competition using their antennae.

[00:01:34] Only after that point does the real battle commence. Two lobsters now worked up and

[00:01:39] angry wrestle one another. Each aims to flip the other over onto its back.

[00:01:45] Sometimes the fight is to the death. But the process of the conflict is not our focus here.

[00:01:51] What is important is that once the battle is over, the defeated lobster, no matter how brave

[00:01:56] it was previously, completely loses the will to fight. Even if in the future they encounter

[00:02:02] lobsters they had defeated in past battles, it will flee rather than fight another time.

[00:02:07] It seems that after a single failure, the defeated lobster's brain is rewired.

[00:02:12] The lobster becomes a loser through and through. Sadly, the same phenomenon can happen to humans

[00:02:18] too. After suffering major blows in their careers or relationships, many people allow

[00:02:24] themselves to embrace a loser identity. Indeed, living is not always smooth and we will encounter

[00:02:30] unexpected pain and suffering throughout life. However, do we really want to accept the life

[00:02:36] of a loser? Is that a responsible way to face the world? Are there strategies we can

[00:02:42] adopt to be easier on ourselves? To these questions, in 12 Rules for Life,

[00:02:46] the author Jordan Peterson provides definite answers. Peterson worked as a dishwasher, a chef,

[00:02:53] a beekeeper, a worker on an oil field and various other manual labouring occupations

[00:02:57] in order to survive. Through his own efforts, he aspired to become a teacher and is now a

[00:03:03] popular professor, highly respected by his students and indeed one of the most important

[00:03:07] thinkers on the world stage. He has been described by those he has taught as one of

[00:03:12] their top three life-changing lecturers. In this book, Peterson condenses his research

[00:03:18] and life experience into 12 rules to help us solve significant life problems, including how

[00:03:22] to live positively, how to deal with pain, how to establish correct values, how to support

[00:03:27] children properly and more. Follow these rules well and your life will be enlightened.

[00:03:33] Next, we will break down the main contents of the book into two sections.

[00:03:38] Part 1, Facing Life Head-On with a Positive Attitude.

[00:03:42] Part 2, Dealing with Pain by Being Mindful. Just like the defeated lobster we talked about

[00:03:48] in the introduction, many people's brains will be reconstructed after a failure and they will

[00:03:52] unconsciously believe that being a loser is their default condition. Thus, the first step

[00:03:58] in changing our lives is to get rid of the loser identity. In order to survive in complex

[00:04:03] and changing environments, animals have gradually formed a hierarchy.

[00:04:08] At the top are the queens and kings, below, in varying degrees, losers. The structure is

[00:04:14] developed from the habit of competing for supremacy. A similar phenomenon has occurred

[00:04:19] in human society. Since the beginning of time, people have aspired to be at the top of the

[00:04:25] pecking order. The desire for primacy exists because, in the latter of ascendancy,

[00:04:30] the fundamental underlying principle is that of unequal distribution.

[00:04:35] Suppose we use a scale of 1 to 10 to assess people's status in society, the highest being 1 and the

[00:04:40] lowest being 10. In this case, the people in the first position not only have the best choice

[00:04:46] of housing and food but also can choose friends and partners of their liking. By contrast,

[00:04:51] the people at number 10, the lowest room on the scale, often only have access to low

[00:04:56] quality shelter or none at all and basic food. Furthermore, with low status come fragile

[00:05:01] physical and mental health. It follows that it is also very difficult for such people to attract

[00:05:07] quality partners as their selection pool is limited. Their choices are usually among the

[00:05:13] same class of desperate people. As such, the slowly group seems fated for a life riddled

[00:05:18] with illness, premature aging and, potentially, an early death. Why do people at the bottom

[00:05:24] with a status of 10 keep failing? Actually, it has something to do with our brain.

[00:05:30] The dominance hierarchy has existed for billions of years. Over time, our brains have developed

[00:05:36] the capacity to monitor our dominance status and act accordingly. Its perception of our

[00:05:41] dominance hierarchy becomes like a master control system that regulates our perceptions,

[00:05:46] values, emotions, thoughts and behaviors. It influences how we act both consciously and

[00:05:52] subconsciously. At the same time, your brain is constantly observing your environment and

[00:05:58] monitoring how others treat you. They determine your value. Suppose your friends and family look

[00:06:04] down on you. In that case, the self-appraisal system in your brain will correspondingly limit

[00:06:10] the production of serotonin, the chemical transmitter in your body that regulates

[00:06:14] neuronal communications. Feelings of intimidation, vulnerability, anxiety and fragility will

[00:06:20] follow. Your self-confidence will decline and your ability to resist stress will decrease.

[00:06:27] Furthermore, people at the bottom often don't receive the support they need to lift themselves

[00:06:32] out of their situation. They are habitually left to fend for themselves. Being alone in the face

[00:06:38] of insurmountable circumstances and depreciated status raises the likelihood of repeated setbacks.

[00:06:44] As the failures pile up, the decrease in serotonin becomes more significant,

[00:06:49] leading to a higher likelihood of descending into a long-term depression.

[00:06:53] This, then, further dampens the willingness to stand up to the challenges of life.

[00:06:58] Just like those outcast lobsters defeated once and for all, people lose the will to expend any

[00:07:03] further effort to improve their situation. However, if you are one of the privileged at the top

[00:07:09] of the pyramid, your brain's self-appraisal system assumes that your environment is secure

[00:07:13] and resources are abundant. Moreover, the mind believes that you will benefit from plentiful

[00:07:19] societal support. It operates from the premise that there is hardly any possibility of your

[00:07:25] coming to harm. When a problem occurs, it will respond as if it were an opportunity rather

[00:07:30] than a life or death disaster. Therefore, it will provide abundant serotonin, keeping you

[00:07:36] calm and confident, full of fighting spirit and feeling safe. So, is there no way for

[00:07:41] people at the bottom of the pyramid to subvert these seemingly unbreakable circuits?

[00:07:46] Peterson tells us that the human body consists of parts that act like a well-rehearsed symphony

[00:07:51] orchestra. They need to work together to do their jobs, otherwise, breakdowns will occur.

[00:07:57] The self-appraisal system is no exception. A simple, practical example shows irregularities

[00:08:03] in routine and diet can affect your brain's ability to function properly.

[00:08:08] Being uncertain where your next meal may come from can throw the mind in a loop.

[00:08:12] Therefore, if we seek to break the pattern of being a loser, first and foremost,

[00:08:17] we need to take care of our physical condition. Peterson suggests the following ways in which

[00:08:22] we can break this loser curse. First, regular sleep. The systems that

[00:08:28] mediate negative emotions are closely related to our biological clock.

[00:08:32] If you have an irregular sleep routine, anxiety and depression will follow.

[00:08:38] Peterson points out that maintaining orderly biorethym is a key to well-being.

[00:08:42] It's important to wake up at a regular hour. Second, eat a breakfast rich in healthy fats

[00:08:48] and proteins. Peterson found in studies of people with anxiety and depression that low

[00:08:53] blood sugar caused by skipping or eating a low-quality breakfast can cause physical

[00:08:57] and mental instability. Once initiated, this state can last throughout the day.

[00:09:03] By contrast, many anxious subjects return to their normal state of mind and body after

[00:09:08] switching to eating a hearty breakfast in the morning. Third, hold your head high.

[00:09:14] People tend to assess one another based on posture and body language.

[00:09:18] If we physically exude failure, others will treat us as failures, which fans of vicious circle.

[00:09:24] In addition, an upright posture will not only change others' attitudes it will also make you

[00:09:29] feel more capable. It will impact your nervous system, increasing your serotonin and, thus,

[00:09:35] boosting your confidence and fortitude. Holding your head up will help you be your

[00:09:39] optimal self, be more self-accepting, more confident and ready to face any challenge.

[00:09:45] Figuring out how to shed one's loser identity is just the first step in facing life head-on

[00:09:49] with a positive attitude. Next, you'll need to tailor a modest and appropriate goal for yourself.

[00:09:56] The goal will clarify your direction and indicate where you need to focus your efforts.

[00:10:01] Before specifying goals, you need to notice the critic living inside of you who makes a

[00:10:06] nonstop comparison of certain aspects of your life and personality with others and

[00:10:10] makes you believe that these aspects are the only thing that matters.

[00:10:14] The critic probably likes to say, look at your colleagues.

[00:10:17] They are much better than you at their work. Look at your high school classmates.

[00:10:23] Some of them have become bank presidents. But that colleague who is good at their job may have an

[00:10:29] uncomfortable family life or a cheating spouse. The seemingly complacent bank president

[00:10:34] may suffer from insomnia, worrying about corrupt practices. They may just be better

[00:10:39] than you in one respect and if you indulge in this game of singular competition,

[00:10:43] you will inevitably become ashamed of yourself. Then you will relentlessly judge yourself harshly.

[00:10:50] In fact, there are thousands of competitive games in life, music, sports, writing, speaking, design,

[00:10:56] politics and more. Your first need is to find a game that suits you, matches your talents,

[00:11:02] brings you constructive relationships and motivates you to improve.

[00:11:06] After that, you need to respect your uniqueness and set a goal solely based on

[00:11:10] your unique skills instead of those you envy in others. It is, of course, impossible to play

[00:11:15] just one game in one's life and you won't be good at all games. As a result, when seeking goals,

[00:11:21] you need to consider the whole picture and evaluate all the games you play to determine

[00:11:25] whether you're succeeding or failing. When you follow this procedure, you will find that

[00:11:30] everyone has their own set of games and everyone's criteria for success is different.

[00:11:35] Therefore, it's pointless to compare yourself to others.

[00:11:39] Instead, as Peterson points out, the most objective and effective move is to compare

[00:11:43] your today self with your yesterday self. Your goals need to be an exclusive fit for

[00:11:48] your situation based on personal evolution. Another thing you should consider when setting

[00:11:53] your goals is that they must be in accordance with your nature. If you set a goal contrary

[00:11:59] to your nature, it will have a high probability of failure. For example, someone who plans to

[00:12:04] improve their relationship with their partner may set a goal of not arguing with them. However,

[00:12:10] after holding back time and time again, they eventually cannot help themselves and explode.

[00:12:15] They scream, why should I give in? They should get to know themselves and be true

[00:12:20] to their true thoughts from the beginning. Enduring and stewing until they burst is

[00:12:24] a pointless waste of time. Develop goals that are sustainable and worthwhile for you.

[00:12:30] To begin with, analyze your problems in depth and determine what you really want to improve,

[00:12:35] what is realistic for you. Next, you must make sure your goals are feasible.

[00:12:41] For example, an office worker, let's call them Tom says, I want to take over my boss's

[00:12:45] position. This goal is both in line with my nature and promising. It is also a goal

[00:12:52] that can motivate me. But if Tom's boss is excellent at their job and wants to remain firm

[00:12:57] in their current role, it will be difficult for Tom to have the opportunity to accomplish it.

[00:13:02] So, will this goal make Tom vexed, discommodated or even annoying to others?

[00:13:08] Of course it will. Many things in life such as jealousy will drive you into cognitive

[00:13:13] blindness, narrowing your focus so that you see only one possibility for life improvement,

[00:13:17] such as replacing your boss. But there will be many other ways to have a better life,

[00:13:22] besides having a bigger office and greater power. Consequently, after setting a goal,

[00:13:28] you should carefully analyze it. See if your goal is really feasible and if it will spur you on in

[00:13:33] a good way, motivate you to move forward to a better life. If not, you will need to consider

[00:13:39] whether you are trapped by a narrow mindset or blinded by a momentary compulsion. If so,

[00:13:44] take a step back and look for other hidden possibilities.

[00:13:48] Finally, your goal should be manageable enough that you are willing to take immediate action.

[00:13:53] You can ask yourself three questions. First, what are my concerns?

[00:13:58] Second, do I have the power to make changes? And third, am I really ready and willing to

[00:14:04] make a change? If the answer to either the second or the third question is no,

[00:14:09] aim lower until you find a problem that you have the ability and the will to change.

[00:14:13] For example, a vast pile of pending documents is stacking up on your desk.

[00:14:18] They are giving you a headache. How about asking yourself, what part of this pile of papers am

[00:14:24] I willing to spend 20 minutes on? If not 20, how about 10 minutes? Maybe just 5 minutes?

[00:14:32] Run these possibilities over. Repeat it over and over again, and keep narrowing down your goal

[00:14:38] until you find the aspect of the task that you're really willing to engage with.

[00:14:42] On top of that, after tackling the tasks outlined in your goal, you need to give yourself a reward.

[00:14:48] Realize what actually motivates you to accomplish your goals and reward yourself in this way

[00:14:53] wholeheartedly. Then you will find yourself motivated and change will become easier.

[00:14:59] You may encounter considerable problems on the path to achieving your goals.

[00:15:04] Ignoring obstacles and avoiding them will make you deviate from your course.

[00:15:08] The accumulation of slight detours and inactions will turn into big losses.

[00:15:13] Only by tackling problems head on and actively solving them can you keep steadily on the right

[00:15:18] path and accomplish your goals. It's easy for people to ignore problems,

[00:15:22] this kind of neglect originates in instincts. In everyday life, people must quickly gather the

[00:15:28] information they need, a vital skill for survival in complex environments.

[00:15:33] In this process, we greatly simplify the world around us,

[00:15:36] extracting just enough information for us to survive and ignoring all the rest.

[00:15:41] Apples, for example, come in many different colors and numerous varieties.

[00:15:46] Individual apples have many traits, but in our eyes, the primary feature of an apple is that

[00:15:51] we can eat it. It is food to sustain life. We can just about ignore everything else about it.

[00:15:58] We instinctively sense that ignoring the complexity of the apple has little impact.

[00:16:03] We rarely take any time or expend any effort to understand an apple.

[00:16:08] For apples, perhaps this is understandable, but we can't disregard everything in such a way all

[00:16:13] of the time. If we do, it will likely have devastating consequences. For example, when

[00:16:20] a wife firmly believes that her husband is reliable, diligent and loving.

[00:16:24] She has total faith in her marriage. How could her marriage possibly go wrong?

[00:16:31] It's always in perfect harmony. The wife has extracted enough information to maintain her life's

[00:16:36] status quo. She ignores the minor frictions that pop up in her relationship and her husband's

[00:16:42] peculiarities. It isn't until one day when she sees her husband flirting with another woman

[00:16:47] that she perceives a different side to her marriage and realizes the overall complexity

[00:16:51] inherent in a marital relationship. She feels like her life is falling apart and starts to wonder,

[00:16:58] has she ever been loved? Is it still the same home she has taken care of for years?

[00:17:03] Then, she begins to imagine she is losing her mind. Why did God allow this to happen?

[00:17:10] She asks, how can I get revenge and satisfy myself? No one likes such a ruinous consequence.

[00:17:17] So, how can you home in on the problem in the first place and nip the destructive

[00:17:21] tendency in the bud? In fact, the solution is very simple.

[00:17:26] You just need to notice when you are not happy anymore. This indicates the existence of a problem,

[00:17:32] suggesting that it is time to speedily and proactively seek change.

[00:17:36] Subsequently, you must accurately analyze the problem and find a solution.

[00:17:41] You first need to know what happened and distinguish between bad things that have

[00:17:45] happened and equally bad things that have not happened but are in your imagination.

[00:17:49] Such analysis allows you to avoid panicking about things that didn't actually play out.

[00:17:55] For example, if a wife sees her husband flirting with another woman,

[00:17:58] one bad thing flirting with another woman has already happened.

[00:18:02] Still, there is no need to immediately associate it with an unfaithful cheating attitude and

[00:18:07] the first step towards divorce. After taking stock of the situation,

[00:18:12] you need to gather data and sift through the reasons behind the problem.

[00:18:15] For example, the wife should rationalize why her husband could have started to be dissatisfied

[00:18:20] with their marriage. Do the children take too much of her attention so he feels neglected?

[00:18:26] Or is it because the couple has not reached a consensus on family matters and has been putting

[00:18:31] up with things that they fundamentally disagree with? After identifying the issue and knowing

[00:18:36] the reason, you should describe it in a straightforward and precise manner to the

[00:18:40] people involved. In this way it is possible to determine a way to solve the problem together,

[00:18:46] avoid the tragedy and eradicate this kind of torment from your life.

[00:18:50] This is the end of the first part of today's bookie, which is how we can face life head-on

[00:18:54] with a positive attitude. Hierarchies of dominance have governed humans for hundreds

[00:18:59] of millions of years where winners take advantage of resources and losers struggle

[00:19:04] for survival. Awareness of this situation should motivate you to improve your life.

[00:19:10] To this end, you can methodically train yourself to shed a loser identity.

[00:19:15] Understand what you really want and set a specific goal you desire and are committed

[00:19:19] to working towards. Don't ignore problems. Face chaos head-on, direct your energies to

[00:19:26] the ocean of troubles confronting you, maintain an exacting outlook and march straight ahead.

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